how bout some strawberries?

This past month has been crazy. So much has happened and changed. God blessed me, yet again, with new, amazing friends who encourage me daily.

It has been about a year and a half since I have been saved by the grace of God. I will admit, it has not been easy living a God honoring life, but I know it is more than worth it to try and glorify Him in all that I do. The fire I had for the Lord in my heart has faded, plateaued and burned real bright. Shows how inconsistent I am in my spiritual walk with God, and also how many times I can act upon my emotions. The fire that has been lit inside of me is to live for God, the Creator of this universe, of me, and of you. More than ever, I want to stop letting the flame inside my heart fade. When people look at me, I want them to see the passion I have for the Lord, and see that fire burning. More importantly, I want them to look at me and see God’s love shining through the life that I live.

In high school I fooled myself, and a lot of people around me. It was easy for me to put on a mask and proclaim truth, when I did not really know it or believe it in my heart. That is exactly where the devil wanted me – I was totally deceived. How could I have lived a fruitful life outside of The Fruit? In order for you or me to be a fruitful person, we have to be connected to the source. There is no true fruitfulness outside of Jesus Christ. Judas can be a prime example of this. He was a disciple of Christ, and followed with Him daily, everywhere. No body thought He could possibly betray Jesus. It can be so easy to put on a show, to the point that it is just natural for you to “act” that way, but that is SO dangerous. What if Jesus stepped into church and said, “Not all of you are following after me.” How would you respond? Something that comforts a lot of Christians, is knowing they were baptized, and that they take the Lord’s supper. Just because we have been baptized, or take communion does not make us saved. There are a handful of people who do both of these things but still do not know the Jesus Christ that you can have a daily relationship with. He is so alive, and is a part of our daily lives.

I am called to live out the Gospel of Jesus Christ and live a fruitful life. This past Sunday in church, my eyes were opened a little more to how necessary it is for me to live a life that bears good fruit. I need to remain in Christ so that I can bear good fruit, and truly live a God-honoring, and glorifying life. Think about when a song comes on from ten years ago, and immediately the lyrics are brought back to you. What about Scripture? Is that something that can just roll off of your tongue? We have to hide the Word in our hearts! Until the Word has changed you, you have not been affected.

What I have to say about Christ, and His love comes no where near reaching what His love is for us, but I do know that once you experience the love of God and try to comprehend His love for us, you just stand in awe and amazement. We do not deserve this life, we do not deserve His love. Not only does He love us, He is JEALOUS for us. It almost makes me laugh. Why in the world would want me? I am just a weak, feeble human with a sinful nature who deserves nothing but hell.

This life speaks for an eternity…where will you be spending it?

one step at a time.

2 Corinthians 5:7

"For we walk by faith, not by sight."

you ever thought about being blind? there are sometimes when i try to feel for people who cannot see, and walk with my eyes closed for just a few steps. after only a few steps i am totally disoriented. it is so unnatural for us to walk without seeing where we are going, but this is exactly what Paul tells us we must do as Christians.

our world today has become so materialistic. we are far more concerned with building up our earthly treasure, and accumulating wealth than we are serving our God. to a point this can be understandable; we can see money, we can feel it, and we see the pleasure that money can bring us - but we can't see God. this is the problem - the eyes of men are never satisfied (Proverbs 27:20). a man can never reach the point where he has enough money; striving for wealth becomes an obsession, a god. we're living for this temporary instant gratification that will never satisfy our true desires. the materials of this world fluctuate - they can not be guaranteed consistent. what we have today, may not be here tomorrow. in 1 Timothy, Paul says to instruct the rich not to "fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches," a hope which "plunges men into destruction." if this is our hope, then it will produce uncertainty, that can produce anxiety.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

people who walk by faith, will handle the world's goods with contentment. God has promised to supply our material needs if we have the faith you place His reign over our lives.

Philippians 4:11-13 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

i have been faced with questions like, "if there is really a God, why is there so much suffering in this world?" or "why would a God allow children to die at such a young age?" or "why would God even allow diseases like cancer in this world?" - if God is really who you say He is, then he can get rid of all this suffering.

there is a difference, when dealing with suffering, between the people who walk by sight, and the people who walk by faith. i find that people who walk by sight deal with suffering with despair. our view of suffering demands for equality and justice in the life that we live. people wonder often: why do the wicked seem to get what they want, and are successful, when i am over here trying to do the right thing, but i am suffering so much. our faith will falter if we try to answer this from a strictly worldly point of view. if we walk by faith, we can see suffering with hope.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

we can be hopeful in the face of suffering if our sights are set on heaven, and not on this world.

we are challenged by the Bible to "walk by faith, not by sight." this can be just as unnatural as walking with our eyes closed. in the beginning it is is difficult, and uncomfortable, but the more steps we take, the more comfortable we will become, and the more confident we will be in where we are being directed. ultimately that is what faith is all about - "the assurance of things hoped for."

Hebrews 1:11 - Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

if you click here, you can listen to a song by jeremy camp known as "walk by faith."

sometimes it can be so hard to desire God's plan for us, with a willing heart. there is so much sin in this world, and so many temptations that we all give into at some point or another. just being patient with who God wants you to spend the rest of your life with is a struggle for many people, including me.

in high school i always did things my way. most times didn't rely on God in what i did, even though that was the life i perceived to be living. i struggled with things just like everyone else did. sin is just as tempting for me, as it is for anyone else. but Jesus died for my sins. died for yours. died for hitler's. died for your neighbor's. died for everyone's. doesn't matter who you are. He died for you - a worthless, human sinner.

i used to be embarrassed to admit the sin i used to struggle with, but as far as i have come from that point in my life, it is still a part of me, and God has made me so much stronger through it all. i am washed clean of those sins, by the precious blood of Christ.

i struggled with thoughts of suicide the majority of high school, and developed the addiction of cutting my senior year. i never thought i would make it to graduation - so i didn't work hard in school, try to find a school to go to, and i fell out of love with soccer, something i couldn't do without. it still is amazing to me how God placed me where i am today, and how He opened my eyes and heart. when people ask how i even heard of union, i try to explain it - but you just can't explain God. i had absolutely nothing to do with it.

it was not until i went to school at union did i truly know what it meant to experience God, His grace, and love. i was surrounded with so many people that loved me, and cared about what i was going through. God revealed Himself through the people here and showed me i was trying to do it all on my own, and if i would just reach for His hand i would get out of the ditch that i was in. now i am at a wonderful school - growing more than i ever thought i could, getting the education i need, playing a game that i love, and developing relationships that will last a lifetime. i tell you, God is so good, and always directing your every way - whether you want to believe it or not.

"I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God." -Elisabeth Elliot

just take one step at a time. things do not just change over night, but do not ever underestimate God. you can be sky high, hitting rock bottom, or just going through the motions - He is always going to be there. there are always going to be everyday struggles, and battles you have to face. i will admit, it is so hard for me to patient and just wait for "the one." you see your friends in relationships, getting engaged, and married, and think that is never gonna be you. the Lord will give you the desires of your heart, you just have to be obedient.

i am learning to be content, and joyful with whatever comes my way - everyday. God has plan, not just any plan, but a perfect one. i am excited to see what he teaches me - whether that is through trials, struggles, or high times in my life. i am glad He is the author of my life. i will walk by faith, even when i cannot see.

in the words of jordin sparks' song, one step at a time...

when you can't wait any longer,
but there's no end in sight.
when you need to find the strength,
it's your faith that makes you stronger.
the only way you get there is one step at a time.

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

y'all, it is snowing at this very moment, right outside my window! :) that is the coolest thing ever. i just love snow! that means hot cocoa, and a fire at the fireplace, Christmas music, Christmas movies, and of course decorating the tree! it reminds me of the family time that i have, and the friends that i get to see during breaks. but really it is a reminder of the whole reason for Christmas - Jesus is born!

Christmas should be a holiday that means a whole lot, to Christians especially, because without the birth of Jesus we have to Christianity. therefore we go to hell. read that again. WE GO TO HELL. for eternity. does that not scare you? because it scares me, but I know that The Creator - of this whole universe - cares about me...a weak human, a sinner, just like you, and everyone else out there. we should fear God, more than we fear hell, simply because of God's wrath. ouch.

most of the time we get so wrapped up in decorating, or shopping, or even giving gifts, that we lose focus of what CHRISTmas is really about. like i said before about Thanksgiving, try to really remember why we celebrate this holiday. really think about it.

most of us have heard the "Christmas" story again and again, but really think about it. born of a virgin. came to live a perfect life, and DID. for 33 years. died on a cross, for OUR sins. that is what we deserve. but because of the grace of God, we have the opportunity to accept a free gift of salvation for what Christ did, but still choose to deny it.

why? because we dont want to give up our worldly things? because we are too selfish and prideful? because we think there is a catch...because there always is with free gifts? because "my family would disown me?"

i will admit that the Christian life is not an easy life, but i guarantee you that it is so worth it. what Christ did for us, and what God is still doing for us is all out of His unconditional love for us, even when we turn the cheek.

tomorrow is not guaranteed. for that matter, you and me even getting through this post is not guaranteed. we take a lot of things for granted, and get so caught up in our "busy" lives not to make time for God, and to forget about Him, because "oh, he'll always be there, right?" what if God forgot about us? what if He just got sick and tired of our sin and chose to turn His cheek on us? what now?

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

bittersweet.

so this past weekend one of my best friends, caitlin graduated. it is kinda weird knowing she is not gonna be back next semester when i just wanna pop in to see her or just hang out. someone i would see everyday, whenever i wanted to, is gonna be gone. and in the real world. i have only known her for a year and half, but i just love the friendship God has blessed us with!

caitlin is one of those friends you always love to be around. i thoroughly enjoy spending time with her, whether it is "dancing", doing her feet, or just talking. you dont come across those friends that you click with almost instantly, very often. like every friendship there are up's and down's, but i can honestly say it has been a whole lot of fun getting to know her better.

this past week has been kind of a roller coaster of emotions.

break has started. school is finished. all my friends are gone, and home. caitlin graduated. she also turned another year younger. ill be heading back to my own stomping grounds in the next few days. i dont really know what all to feel. excited; sad; nervous; happy; glad. i say it is all bittersweet.

you dont really realize what all you have until its gone. not necessarily dead, but just not with you physically. like when i am at school, my friends are there, and soccer is there...but i am also missing home, and my family. but when i am at home my family is with me, and old friends are there, but i am missing my friends from union, soccer, and just even being at school. it is like i can never find a happy medium.

that sounds awful. i am blessed in more ways than i even know, and wherever i am is where i am called to glorify the Lord. He is teaching me to be content with wherever i am, at whatever stage in life i am at - so that His kingdom can be furthered.

alls i know is that i am thankful for things like skype, phones, and facebook. i dont know if i could survive off of hand written letters.

within the past few hours God has shown me the amazing people He has placed in my life, but also the amount of friends that i dont tell enough how thankful i am for them. i encourage you to do exactly that...thank the people in your life that you love.

"dont cry because it is over; smile because it happened." - dr. seuss

thanksgiving.

Just stop and think here for a minute.

Think about your life - What it used to be; What it is now; and what it could be.

Think about the family and friends that surround you.

Think about the beautiful world we live in - The sunsets. The thunder. The lightening. The trees. The earth.

Think about the opportunities we get every day.

Just think about our bodies - how they work.

Do these things not amaze you? Gosh, God is so, so good.

This thanksgiving I had the opportunity to spend thanksgiving with one of my best friends, Roxanna, and her amazing family. It was not until this Thanksgiving did I realize truly how blessed I am, and how thankful I should be. God has blessed me in so, so many ways. It amazes me. I have clothes on my back and shoes on my feet. I have the opportunity to play a sport I love. I am getting a college education. I have a family - and one that loves me. I am healthy. This list could go on, and on, and on. We are all doing better than we deserve. Be thankful for the life you have been blessed with. Praise the Lord – that He loves you so much, He would send His son for the ultimate sacrifice, and he desires a relationship with us - wretches. sinners. nobodies.

God began to open my eyes this summer when I went to Kenya. It is really such an experience to live in another country way out of your comfort zone. Here is a little of what I experienced there...

I experienced the poverty. I was loved on, by Kenyan’s of all ages, and was treated with such hospitality by the host families. I lived in a mud hut, and shared a 2-inch, foam, twin mattress with another teammate. My host family slept on the floor with the chickens. I experienced no plumbing, or running water. I experienced going to the bathroom in a hole, hoping I had good aim. I flew on 15 flights in 13 days – three of which I was alone. We drove on dirt roads for hours in a bumping van, listening to Kenyan music while getting carsick. We played soccer in Chaco’s and a skirt. We were provided with more than enough food to nourish our bodies.

I also experienced true joy and thankfulness in the people’s hearts there. They rejoiced in everything. They praised God in the good and hard times. They are thankful for everything they have. We got to know the loving people there. They smiled at the smallest things – that is one image I will never forget. When we were blessed with food, the children would not eat lunch that day. I experienced the absolute beauty of this country, and the people there.

I am not trying to say that the people in Kenya are perfect in any way, but they are so thankful for what they DO have, and do not focus on what they do not have. Before I went to Kenya I thought that in my time there I would be giving more to the people there, rather than receiving more from them. I was terribly wrong. I gained more from this trip than I ever could have given to the wonderful people there.

I am blessed.

This year has been a roller coaster. The Lord is teaching me so much, and sometimes it can be hard to go through, and overwhelming, but it is all, so worth it. I have a fun, loving family that I have grown so much more appreciation for being away from home. At the same point I am blessed with amazing friends that help me to grow and keep me accountable. It is so much fun getting to know your old friends better, and establishing friendships with new ones.

I challenge you to take a step back and think about the blessed life that you have. Be convicted, but praise God for what you do have. Try not to make “Thanksgiving,” a once-a-year holiday, but an everyday thing. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in family, food, and football that we can forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving.